Tuesday, January 29, 2013


The first doorway was the Plastics folks.  Really, they aren't very exciting.  The big surgery to chop 'em off.  The almost as big surgery to rebuild 'em.  The small surgery to make nipples.  And the office visit to tattoo.  That was an easy doorway to walk through.

The next doorway belonged to the Oncology office, with no appointment.  If you talk nicely and use your manners, and don't care what doc you get, and call them from their own waiting room, you get an appointment.  Friday afternoon, Folks.

The next doorway was one of the harder ones in this journey.  I walked by it three times.  If I crossed it, this must be real.  It was the Cancer Care Center.  The touchy feely emotional support place.  With the wigs.  And the make-up from the American Cancer Society.  And all the pamphlets on every possible topic related to every kind of cancer.  I have plenty of reading material now, thanks.  I didn't expect to react as emotionally as I did to just being there.  With the doctor discussions, it's not really me.  I can be very clinical and detached, unemotional.  I was glad there were storms rolling in, as an excuse to book it on out of that doorway and away from being vulnerable.

The last doorway of the day was the Missions Trip to Guatemala.  Don't tell the Methodists, but it's with the Baptists across town.  Really, it's with one of Evan's best buddies, adopted from Guatemala as an infant.  I'm just along as his chaperone.  I still don't have a clue how I think I can make that work, but it is a step out in faith, financially and logistically.  Need chores done?  I have a boy willing to work.  We've got a month to ponder things before it's commitment time.

One more doorway planned - mani & pedi before the onc appt on Friday.  Because self care is important.


Anonymous said...

Test 123

Anonymous said...

ask...and you shall recieve...seek...and you shall find...knock...and the door shall be opened unto you...this just seemed appropriate today...love ya buck

LNowak said...

I am so excited that we can comment! :) That is all... oh and LOVE YOU LADY!! Keep up the therapeutic writing...I am reliving some of my own journey and I have actual heart aches for you... you are not alone even if we are not physically standing beside you, we are with you!! LN