Tuesday, January 22, 2013

1/22/13... what I know today

So, the blog address is out in the public.  Sometimes I write for the rest of the world, and sometimes it's just for me and the rest of you are along for the ride.  Hang on, cause it's gonna get bumpy.  But if you're here, you've figured that out already.

I know that insomnia sucks.  Benadryl at 2 am is equally awful, at least at 7 am.  How bout some Tylenol PM about 5 minutes after dinner?

I know I love to fall asleep listening to Tom read The Hobbit to the boys at bedtime.  One of the few perks of a tired mom with the same bedtime as my boys and a small house.

I know that I have made it through exactly 1 phone call not in tears today.  That is one more than yesterday.  And it was my mom, who swallowed her lumpy throat more than once.  Progress.

I know that I really like purple more than pink.  I don't own a thing pink!  Maybe I will learn to wear it graciously.  Maybe not.

I know my support system is bigger than cancer.  I just wish I wasn't taking all of the rest of you down this path with me.  It sucks, and I hate the collateral damage.

I know 5th grade moms are awesome, and 1st grade moms are growing on me.  Hey, we've had 4 less years to bond, gimme a break.  I am sorry to be the one who introduces your boys to cancer and heads shaved in solidarity.  Once again, the collateral damage.

I know that lunch kidnappings are a good thing, and should happen regularly.  Last week I was fully independent, worked closer to full-time than part-time, and managed my own life.  This week, the biggest broken part is my head.  Next week is too far away to predict, but I am afraid of the isolation and already miss the lunch table gossip.  And perhaps the paycheck, too.

I know my kids are well taken care of, even if school won't let me put on their registration form   "Who can we release your child to?"  "Anyone who has my cell # programmed into their phone."

I know I am not going to Google the information on the pathology reports, at least not yet.

I know tomorrow I will wear my contacts, and feel better, and cry less, cause normal matters.

I know we go to see the surgeon on Thursday, and map out a plan to move forward rather than run in place.  Feel like a gerbil going nowhere.

I know that this is God's plan, cause it certainly isn't mine!  And He will walk it with me, and Jesus already walked it for me.


SuziQ said...

I know that though I've only met you once, I love you only like a cousin can. I know that God will be with you as will your family, no matter how many times we have met.
Love you all more.

Pammeey said...

Hi Marcy. I'm Tom's cousin, here thanks to Theresa giving us your address on Facebook. I'm sending good thoughts your way. You sound strong and courageous and I believe that is half the battle. And screw pink! Wear any color you want.

Jackie said...

I have looked at my phone 100 times to call you but I have waited for that "new to all this" dust to somewhat settle. I'm a crier at the drop of a hat, I can't even watch Animal Planet without shedding tears. So, until I pull on my big girl boots I'm waiting so I don't pull you done. I'm praying for you every hour of the day. I've had lots of hours to do that lately since Colby shared his sickness with Jack. :) Call me when you need anything!!! WE'LL get through this together. You have the best outlook on things all the time. This is just a curve in the road that wasn't mapped out. Not easy but not impossible either. Love Jackie

Shaunery Wharton said...

Collateral Damage??? No..it's called living life. We want so much to shield and protect our children from all evils of the world. But if we do, HOW will they cope with the "evils" approach them?? You are easing your children and their friends around them into your current bubble of life. They're not going to witness a weak woman, they're not going to see a mom give up on life. You'll show them, that if, God forbid, their mother has to fight this... she won't fight alone and that she can make it thru. If Evan and Colby's mom can... then my mom can too.
Hair grows back... eyebrows and eyelashes too. (EYELASHES!!) And I think for those who know you.. we'd take you bald and without eyelashes anyday. As long as we get to keep you!

Valerie said...

I'm friends with your SIL Shaunery. I will be praying for you.

Jillian said...

Your last comment is the best! HE will walk it with you and when needed, he will carry you.

See you do know a lot!

Love ya Cella!