Monday, January 21, 2013

A week since I last posted, and a lifetime.  Biopsy was Wednesday, Jan 16.  12 samples taken.  Positive for cancer.  The armpit lump is indeed a lymph node, with cancer, so that means metastatic disease.

Today, we told our kids.  They were unfazed.  Excited at the thought of being able to shave their heads with me.

Today, we told our families.  My mom, with the history, and my sister with her.  My dad, having danced this dance with 2 wives, one who didn't beat it.  My sister-in-law, the first of the family told, with whom I can pick up from a month of not talking like we saw each other yesterday, not 500 miles between us.  Tom's family, cracking jokes all along, as I was out of tears by then.

Today, we told our kids teachers, hoping they will protect & love on them when I am down.

Today, we ate pizza and played video games at Incredible Pizza, holding onto a sense of normal for our boys on a long holiday weekend.

My boss, who told me I couldn't work tomorrow.  She understands my kids are cuter than she is, and puts up with me anyway in the balance of work and life.  They have raised me at work - 14+ years, from a not-quite-new single grad through a sort-of workplace relationship (my locker partner set me up with her brother) and through 1 kid, infertility, finally the 2nd kid, now entering into the tween years

And our church and our friends, loving and holding us, praying us through this season.

The grief comes in waves with the re-telling of the story.  I need to move on from that place and onto Chapter 2.  I am fumbling with the boxing gloves and cancer-kicking boots, not unlike Colby learning to tie his shoes in kindergarten.  But I will get there soon.

I should have an appointment by the end of the week with the Barnes/WU folks.  There is no place I would rather be treated.  With it will come an MRI and CT, surgery, chemo and radiation, all in short order.  Probably within 2 or so weeks.  The whirlwind begins.

No comments: