A Laugh For My Husband

No, it's not a Love Note on Valentine's Day. It's a laugh note. It's just a silly story. We are two different people, who happened to choose to be together. Ya don't just fall into or out of love. It doesn't happen by accident. It is a choice, and a labor, this love thing.

We have First Communion coming up in May. Tom is starting to realize that I have a long list of things to get done before we have a houseful of family over. I want to show off what he has done, the hard work he has put into making our house a home. I am cleaning out closets and going through stuff so our world doesn't seem so cluttered to me. My boys don't see it often, but extra, unused, leftover stuff makes me crazy and claustrophobic. I was working on stuff for the accountant for taxes a few weeks ago (yes, i am OCD, and he had the tax info about Feb. 3). I found pics of donations I had made last year. One of which is navy curtains from the last version of the boys room (after the baby decor, before the large jungle/ volcano wallpaper and mural). I want new stuff for the bathroom and our bedroom. I found a navy quilt that Tom and I can both agree on. I really wish I wasn't such a tosser/ pitcher/ donater. I would really like those navy curtains about now. The ones I gave to goodwill a year ago, that I have bought once in my life, and now will buy twice. Dang it!

And my husband? He would have saved them, because he will use/ need/ want them someday again in his life. Dang it! I love him, even when he's right.

A Mother's Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the gift of my wildly spirited second child. I know there was a point when I doubted you and your plan for my family, and I see now you were just waiting for the right sperm to meet with the right egg and swim into my heart.

Thank you for his fierce independence, going to the convenience store by himself before he was 2.

Thank you for his efforts in cleaning up his own messes, even if he won't touch the toys in the playroom. Thank you for his friend S, as a wonderful co-conspirator in crime. Thank you for his potty-training, that we left diapers long ago, but somehow still poop on the bathroom floor at least weekly, and S who tried to keep him out of trouble tonight by helping to clean the poop. But most of all, God, thank you for a toilet to poop in, a floor to poop on, bleach and running water to clean it all up with, and a washer to put the rugs in.

Thank you for friends who take my big kid to hockey, probably against his will for the next 5 practices and 12 games (but who's counting?).

Thank you for a big and a little boy who are afraid of the dark, and spill the events of the day the moment I turn off the bedroom light, as we sit and talk in the dark, keeping all of us up too late.

Thank you, God, for the gifts in my life. Someday when they're all grown up, I'm gonna miss this.

God, be with the kids and moms and dads in Haiti. May they find silly, frustrating, simple problems like mine again. May they find a new sense of normal, of trust, of calm, with you in the center of it.

Amen.

The Pic that Didn't Make It

Waiting for the Birth of the King

I had the perfect idea for a Christmas pic. Colby looked so stinkin cute as a farmer for the church Christmas program in his John Deere boots and bib overalls. Evan was a wiseman, so just had a robe to wear. Unfortunately, he was coughing and didn't feel great. I got one shot and they were done for. With my phone camera, it didn't turn out very well, but maybe next year...

Facebook vs. Blog

Tom has pointed out that since I started Facebooking, I quit blogging. Alas, he's right. Here's a small effort to correct that.

We had a great Christmas, several times over. To start the holidays, Colby got ear tubes for the third time on Christmas Eve. I'd blame the timing on the Jewish ENT, but I chose the date. The other option was the day of their Christmas program at school, and I wanted them both to sing in it. They are just far enough apart that it won't happen often that they are in the same program. The pics are before, all playful with his new Project Linus blanket, and after, in his "Weave me awone!" crabbiness. Everything was too loud.

He is still coughing, with a runny nose and congested. I was hoping the tubes would help that, but I'm not sure they did. Dang it! Colby still remembers the "stinky place" or "blowing up the balloon." "I was scared of the balloon, Mommy. It was yucky." The anesthesiologist talked about him blowing up a balloon, meaning the anesthesia machine, and he remembers the stinky smell. Colby didn't like the gift of the balloon from the machine that the anesthesiologist gave him.

We came home and opened packages with my sister, BIL, nieces and nephew, and my mom too. The grandkids always have a good time together. We went to Methodist church and Colby finally crashed for a nap after the early morning and excitement of the day. After a movie at home, C had no problems going back to sleep. Evan, on the other hand... I was watching Santa on NORAD, and told him he was in Kentucky and he had better get to bed. What a mistake on my part! He couldn't sleep because he was afraid Santa would know he was awake and skip our house. The more he tried to sleep, the more anxious he became. I finally gave up at midnight and left Tom with instructions and told E to crawl into our bed. Then sleep came for all of us. :) Christmas Day was spent together in the morning, and with Tom's family for the afternoon. My brother got the unexpected gift of 2 weeks vacation, so he and his family came home to my dad's. It's been 3 years since we saw him, and 2 years since we saw his girls, and I don't know when I saw his stepson last. Three days of family time just goofing off, talking, taking pics, enjoying the kids, a little shopping. Dang it, to be interrupted by work. The togetherness had to end sometime. I'd upload pics, but my kids broke my camera. Shoot!

It's now a week after New Year's, and the kids have been home 2 days in a row for snow (4 inches) and cold temps - highs in the single digits with serious wind. Yuck. It's back to the daily grind - a few days a week at the hospital for me, Tom's usual work schedule, Scouts, preschool, and church.

Christ in Christmas

I read someone else's blog, and was finally inspired to post. About anything. I think it's Postcards From Insanity, but don't really know. I randomly click on links from the blogs on my sidebar, and I never know where I'll end up. This chick is a foster mom, or maybe adoptive by now, with an attitude. I've seen her stuff before, and the posts I read today were about the insanity of family pics, and the "perfectness" of the holidays. Today, I have her attitude. Merry Stinkin' Christmas to you too!

I love Christmas, but am lost as to where Christ fits in.

We have the school Christmas program this week, and no cute new outfits. I have thought several times that I need to get Christmas pics done one of these days. My sister did that Saturday at her totally cool photographer's for which she has 8 or so years of perfectly coordinated framed pics on her wall. I'm a little jealous of that wall. I finally cut up and put a wallet of my kids' school pics in my wallet today, only because the Rev at church requested pics of the kids. I've always done fall-ish pics, and need to find some motivation.

We have not one, not two but THREE church (Catholic and Methodist and C's UCC preschool/ community ecumenical) church programs this year to make the practices and actual program on time. Tom has to do the UCC/ Ecumenical one solo since I am working. Where is Christ in that? Even in the church programs, I'm not sure. And I confess I'll be glad when First Communion is done so that we don't have to juggle two church calendars, and E doesn't have to choose activities so often. I didn't think religion would be an issue in our kids lives, but it is. I wish I could buy into the Cath beliefs and just convert and make things easier, but I know what I would be missing across town.

We went to my mom and sister's yesterday for Santa on the Train. It's a great time, and the kids love a few minutes with Santa as he wanders the aisle and sits with each family group. I have blown my budget and put stuff on a credit card for Christmas, and C asked him for a $60 Rocky the Robot. Now I went out to get the cool toys on Black Friday, and I thought "Mission Accomplished." He's getting a DS of his very own. Used, but his. He and E can stop fighting over E's, and our lives as parents are easier. So, do I get him this robot, knowing it's going on a credit card that we can't pay off anytime soon? Why does Santa interfere with Christ?

I asked Evan yesterday morning what he was going to ask Santa for, and he was in tears because he didn't know what we had gotten him for Christmas, so he didn't know what to ask Santa for. But then I'll get two of things and I don't want that, he said. This was a huge issue for Evan. Ugh, I almost thought he had it figured out a week or so ago. Nope, not even close it seems. Santa is screwing up Christmas, and I still can't find Christ in all the presents.

I have a good (and well-paying) job, but Christ isn't in my motivation there either. I am part-time enough that I am not at the top of the food chain anymore. I don't get to pick where I work at or what I do. I just fill a hole in a schedule. I DO get to pick the shifts, but that's my only perk. I am good at what I do, but don't want to be doing it at 60, or even 50. Where is Christ in my heart, in my healing presence, in my "Breathing Easy?" It's just a job. I like it, but it's not a passion anymore, and life is too short to not be passionate.

And now, after a 30 minute interlude, my kids are home from school, my extra kiddo is up from a nap, and my house is noisy with the sound of laughter, playing and homework. That is where I find my happiness, my peace, my Christ. In the walls of my home, and the love within. Christ is here every day. It's not about the gifts, the decorating (or lack thereof this year), the perfect pictures, or the church programs. Sometimes, Christ isn't even in a church - it's a theatrical performance.

Always, He is in my heart.

Happy Birthday, Colby!

Today you ate a brownie for breakfast, just cause you wanted to. You are playing with your buddy Steven, and Jack will be here after school. You played with Anthony and Dominic before school. It's time for speech, then lunch, a nap, playing with friends, dinner, and cake with Grandma Rose and Papaw Ed. What a great day! I love you more than you know.

Awesome God

I think the preschool teacher has been singing (or playing) Awesome God with the kids. It is now highly requested multiple times a day at high volumes at my house. I thought I would share it with you.

I love it that Colby rocks to "Awesome God" at the top of his lungs! On our drives to Speech, he drives Steven crazy with the requested volume of music. "Turn it up, Mom." "No, too loud" says Steven. The two of them dance in their seats, play air guitar and drums.






Makes my day to see them act silly and be able to catch it on tape. And I hope he loves God enough to sing it at the top of his lungs when he's 17.