tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14909092136434308702024-03-14T04:38:23.866-05:00Tig & The BoysMarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.comBlogger159125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-64174653358826330022014-06-12T11:07:00.000-05:002014-06-12T11:07:24.526-05:00TBT/ Thankful ThursdayThrowback Thursday... cause every blog post needs a picture!<br />
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Hmm... September 2006. The car was about 2 weeks old, Evan was 4 1/2 and Colby was 11 months old. Just cause it's a cute picture!<br />
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Thankful Thursday...<br />
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A year ago today was surgery. Thankful that we are a year away from that. There are still plenty of days when I look in the mirror and feel quite mangled, despite reconstruction, but I don't feel so broken, lost and sick. Thankful that we had Mike, Lynn, Rose, Becky and my mom with us at the hospital that day, and many more before and since then.<br />
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We have used the pool pass more in June than we did all of last summer - making some better memories this year.<br />
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Good liver function tests at the Primary Care doc's after some bad ones at the Onc a few weeks ago. It's kinda scary when the Onc says come back in 6 weeks and probably scan after being on a 3 month schedule. Thankful to be able to take back normal numbers to him.<br />
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Five acres of farmland that represented hope and our future when I needed something to focus on last year. We will close on our 5 acres in the country next week, selling to someone who will plan his future there. I got invested in and excited by someone else's dreams when we bought it, not really thinking through who Tom and I are. That was ok at the time, as it served as an anchor last year in the midst of our storm.<br />
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Thankful for a getaway in Branson last week. It was short and jam-packed, as we followed my niece's band itinerary, and apparently high school kids should not have any down time to get into trouble 2 states away from their parents! Her band opened for the Haygood's, then Silver Dollar City, then Dixie Stampede, then the Titanic Museum, then Meramec Caverns, then home! Shwoo, a crazy 3 days. But so glad to see my brother and sister-in-law and their family, and to be able to take my mom as well. The best part had to be her giggling like a school girl on one of the water raft rides at SDC.<br />
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Grandma Betsy and Colby, waiting for Evan and cousin Erin to ride the roller coaster behind them.<br />
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G'ma B and Evan in the cave at Meramec.<br />
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And one big thankful... for the father of our kids. I'm not sure which one of us has it worse (or better) this summer - him working while we are snoozing in the early mornings, or me chasing kids mid-morning and working evenings. I'm thankful he's in this crazy game of life with me, sharing and tag-teaming kids, dreaming and scheming for our future together, taking care of me and this bum arm & chest. You weren't so sure of yourself when the rugrats were little, but you do a great job with them now that they walk, talk, mostly listen and are housebroken.<br />
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Love you and thank you, Handsome.<br />
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<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-35709319725836420872014-05-06T20:38:00.000-05:002014-05-06T20:38:06.678-05:00Square Pegs, Round Holes & Being an Adult<div style="text-align: right;">
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We've been dancing around my dream house for a couple of weeks now. And it's no secret that I am a little spooked by money and decisions. We walked away from it today. And I am relieved. I am okay with our decision.<br />
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On paper, it sure looks like we walked for piddly little stuff, but it's been a square peg in a round hole from day one, and I have been the one trying to force it to work. <br />
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We looked at an auction house a month or so ago. We also were offered the chance to buy a new-to-us minivan. I told Tom then (before emotions got involved) that it was one or the other - he really shouldn't let me say yes to the minivan and the house in the same short timeframe. And the house was 1977 original everything, and 4 levels of stairs. Minivan bought, and I love it, even if I don't get to drive it much. Tom is the minivan dad.<br />
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Square peg. </div>
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A couple from church have moved, and their much newer house was on the market. 3 bedroom ranch, stairs optional. A full basement that I never have to visit when I am 65 and he is 80. But past the very tip top of my comfort level, and would take all of our savings and our land assets just to get into it. I tempted fate and looked and lusted anyway. We found a buyer for our 5 acres in the country (why did I think that was a good idea? Who the heck is mowing that, really?) and it seemed like an okay thing to look again and progress. And then I saw my first payroll-deducted check in the grad school world, and it was harsh.<br />
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Square peg. </div>
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And the couch broke along with the washer eating our clothes in the same couple days. <br />
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Square peg. </div>
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My dad brought me a friend's bedroom set, and I helped Tom move it into the garage, 30 feet and 1 big step into the storeroom. And it was all I could do to help him. Moving seemed to become a much larger task when I tested my arm that little bit and realized I am gimpier than I care to admit.<br />
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Square peg. </div>
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The quote above came across my facebook news feed in the midst of negotiating. I don't like how Dave Ramsey earned his money either time, but he must be doing a few things right. If we continued to force the house and I was diagnosed with mets next month (and yes, while crappy cancer is gone, it's still recent enough to dance around in my head full of "what if's"), I would jeopardize my family's security. Our safety net would be in a house that would tear me apart. I can't do that. Tom's too close to retirement. <br />
And I sat and calculated and negotiated, both their point of view and mine. I have no idea what their equity is, but their purchase price is publicly available and the standard 6% realtor's fees, and we were asking them to take at least a $12,000 hit. I might be guilty of having a conscience.<br />
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Square peg. </div>
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And Tom saw how much I wanted to make it all work but it was stressing me at the same time. There are very few carbs left in our house, and not a single ounce of chocolate. It was a nutella from the jar, banana optional, kind of few weeks. I was in tears last night over a contact down the drain - I can't take money from savings to buy a new pair if it's not in the p trap - taking apart the sink is <i>not</i> what my husband needs to be doing at 2230 - so stupid of me to not plug the drain that I made him fix for me for this very reason a few months ago. The contact was rescued, but the feelings remained.<br />
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Square peg. </div>
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And today, I will write my 12 page paper. Plan a little vacation. Pay some bills that I couldn't map out without a little help from savings. Progress with the land sale. Put a little more in savings. Be an adult with the reality of my life. Love our little house and the blessings it has offered us in keeping me at home more than at work in this season of kid-raising and cancer recovery. Mow the yard before it rains the rest of the week. Work on that college fund that Kid #2 needs, that I promised myself this was the year, at least til a truck transmission stole it.<br />
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And quit trying to put square pegs in round holes, cause eventually God gets his point across. </div>
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<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-39323599134515736812014-02-05T11:11:00.001-06:002014-02-05T11:45:33.752-06:00Random Wednesday ThoughtsI'm dying for some spring, anything spring-y. Would love to see a simple crocus blooming. Woke up to this instead. That is a pretty monochromatic white. Even the trashcan is snowed in!<br />
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Saw this yesterday before the snow. It gave me hope. Glad to have the taxes delivered in person to the accountant, whose office is near Skyview. Come on, Wyatt, Big Money, Big Money!<br />
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Insurance is a mixed bag sometimes. Tom's cpap machine is dying. Home health suggested that it's probably time for a new machine for him. Insurance will pay for us to rent a new cpap machine for $60/ month. Forever, or until he meets his deductible this year. Then we start the rental all over again next year. Hello, I can pay cash for one for $500 and be done! I hate monthly payments of any sort, and it's not like osa goes away. Hence the taxes out of my hands early.<br />
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We were making the bed yesterday morning and I was crabbing about how I hate the pillow peninsula in the middle that I keep my arm propped up on. We have never been super-snuggly, but it's kinda nice when your husband reaches out to hold your hand in the middle of the night. Except the only part of my hand not covered is my fingertips. I was feeling sorry for us, and Tom reminded me that the pillow pile represented life and survival. Perspective, Folks. It's all about perspective. I will try a pump and sleeve for my arm in 2 weeks, kinda like the leg
pumps at the hospital, that I would wear for an hour or so a day, and
need to make an appointment to get a more permanent night-time sleeve
that looks a whole lot like a giant oven mit covered in pantyhose,
fingertips to armpit. Dang, won't that be romantic!!<br />
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Loved seeing these moments last Saturday morning. Evan is playing Upward basketball, and scored the 2nd & last baskets of the game. Colby is doing swim lessons at the local rec center. Trying to keep them both moving in the cold & snow.<br />
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Procrastinating my homework. Yep, believe that is what this post is. I *hope* I am back at work in two weeks. Got a group project to do and a paper/ presentation to write before then. Maybe Evan can teach me how to use PowerPoint!<br />
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Health-wise? Back to the Plastics doc next week. He will examine & make sure the seroma isn't re-accumulating. And I hope hope hope he will release me to do some Range of Motion, ya know, before my shoulders freeze and I have to find an ortho doc for that. And before I go back to work. If I can't lift 2 lb weights, I can't move 300 lb patients. I would love to walk on my treadmill. It's kinda hard to keep my weight in check sitting in a recliner or at the kitchen table reading, when the kitchen is 15 feet away. Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-10176668757260819222014-01-20T16:11:00.000-06:002014-01-20T16:12:43.388-06:00One Year Ago<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">One year ago, I numbly helped others with the annual Pinewood Derby. I held my elbow close to my chest and defended my left side fiercely from accidental bumps. This weekend, I enjoyed it as a spectator, still protecting the arm & jp drain, my youngest so incredibly proud of his 2nd place design trophy. Camouflage and guns win every time, and that's a paint style at his skill level! And it worked out perfectly that everyone in his den got a ribbon or trophy for speed or design.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One year ago, I sat in the Radiology waiting room of the local community hospital waiting for copies of mammograms and biopsies, and raged against the stupidity that I could not make an appointment at the Medical Mecca because it was MLK Day and the University folks were off for the holiday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One year ago, I texted a few words to a friend, and had 3 girlfriends waiting when we got home. That is Girl Power! The text was "Rally. Where? Both +." She could translate exactly what I meant, and what I needed. And I have been held by my church and community ever since.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One year ago, we took our kids to Incredible Pizza as a treat for the afternoon, and failed miserably at reclaiming the day. They had a good time then, but haven't asked to go back, and I skipped that Groupon when I saw it again a month or so ago!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One year ago, I called my boss in tears, and she said "Take the time you need. We will still be here." It hasn't been without it's bumps dealing with FMLA and medical leaves, but it has ended up ok in the end. I may live in the land of "no work, no pay" but I still have a job to go back to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One year ago, Tom held me and promised we were in this together. And he has been there every step of the way, working (hey, one of us has to!) and raising kids sometimes for the both of us. I love you. I need you. Thank you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">I can't wait to see what this year brings, since it has to be better than 2013!</span><br />
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<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-67744218507616360012014-01-08T10:23:00.001-06:002014-01-08T10:23:44.056-06:00Wonderful Wednesday<span style="font-size: small;">I was going to try a Wordless Wednesday, but thought I should update from Sunday night's post. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Brandt was called in on Sunday evening for another lady's complications and stuck his head in to see us, too. He didn't have a clear plan for the daylight any more than I did. So... consents were signed for any possible scenario, and back to the OR on Monday we went. He opened the incision, washed out with saline and antibiotic solution, placed a new implant and left a drain. Oh, Jackson-Pratt, how I dislike you! Three surgeries now in 6 months - there are no nerves left to feel pain near the incisions. But the drain is kinda like being poked with a sharp knife, every time I move. When it quits draining fluid, it can come out - probably in a week or so. This was the best scenario of the choices we had to choose from. I was going to be one unhappy patient if I had an implant on one side and a bra prosthesis on the other! And my tolerance for intervention is lowering by the procedure, so I am not sure if I would have re-stretched and attempted reconstruction 6 months from now. We braved the foot of snow and -10 temps to come home late on Monday night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">The Wonderful part of Wednesday? I feel good enough to go to class. Far from great, but I can sit through orientation and a lecture. There is still forward motion in my life. Cancer and its treatment has consumed me mentally and physically for far too long. I am ready to focus on something outside of myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Bring it on, Grad School! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> </span>Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-48045202517101242082014-01-05T19:14:00.003-06:002014-01-05T19:15:34.426-06:00Snowed In Sunday EditionSo... implants went in last Monday, Surgery was pretty smooth, and we were alome about 2 pm. Tuesday was uneventful. Wednesday was a wonderful shower~ 20 minutes of heaven. By Thursday I was off of pain meds & feeling pretty dang decent. But my incision was a little red & draining. By Friday, there was no denying. It was ugly. So off to the doc we went, and he was quick to send me from the posh West County office to the Big Hospital downtown, also known as "work" to be admitted.
And here I still am, in the middle of a bitter winter storm.
Dr. Brandt's surgery day here is Monday, so we are here if he thinks the implant needs to be removed in the morning. His debate Friday was just where the infection really is. If it's in the tissue, it should respond to IV antibiotics. If it's in the space where the implant is, it won't get better with antibiotics and it will have to be removed. Which means another surgery to put an expander implant back in. And re-stretching radiated skin, whick does not work well. And yet another surgery to put an implant back in. And at 7 pm on Sunday night, I still don't have a good idea how tomorrow will go. It looks better than Friday, but that skin is discolored from the radiation anyway, It is hard for me to tell. My white count was not elevated on Friday, so no real signs of overwhelming infection. I have not had a fever at all. The antibiotic dose in my blood today was low, so doses of 2 were increased. I am npo forsurgery tomorrow, but really hoping to escape that and go home with several weeks of abx - maybe IV, maybe po.
Ten inches of snow fell today, and temps in the negative in the world outside. School is canceled- my bet is until Wednesday. Cause we haven't been home for 2 weeks already! The boys are so x-box overloaded by now. My 23 hour surgery observation floor has been turned into a staff hotel. My day nurse slept down the hall last night, and I think she is staying tonight too. In my 15 years, I have never had to stay here. I hope management is taking care of them with food vouchers and combat pay. There is an Applebee's and hotel attached to the complex. Applebee's closed today. Aww, comeon, we are a captive crowd,
The boys and my mom are snuggled in at home. A crazy friend ventured out to take them pizza. Friends and family delivered milk, eggs and bread before the weather turned. There is 30 or so crock pot meals she can cook as long as we have power. And the parents are not home to kick them outside or turn off the electronics, so enjoy the party, Kids! Tom has been with me since Saturday afternoon. But this is a really lousy romantic get-away, I must say, But he does take good care of me, and keeps me from going stir-crazy.
And that is the snowed in Sunday edition. I am so glad the techno-hubs figured out nook blogging, but will be glad to get home to our real computer! Forgive the typos as I might be nook keyboard challenged.
Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-68129091597069375842013-12-26T22:46:00.000-06:002013-12-26T23:42:46.778-06:00Thankful Thursday - last of 2013Thankful for the many blessings in this cancer journey.<br />
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Thankful for a husband who takes the time to help with my arm. As long as I get up with him in the mornings, he makes time to help me wrap morning and night.<br />
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Thankful for a Christ child born, a tree full of gifts, a family to spend the holidays with, a table full of food.<br />
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Not thankful that the tree is put away already. And the pile of stuff I keep adding to of things that didn't quite make it back into the Christmas boxes in the garage. Dang it!<br />
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Thankful for what will be about 36 frozen crock-pot meals. The picture doesn't show the 20 or so pounds of chicken parts. Thank you, God, for below freezing temps a few days ago so I could just leave that on the back porch! The site I am using for this round is <a href="http://whoneedsacape.com/2012/11/crockpot-freezer-cooking/" target="_blank">www.whoneedsacape.com.</a><br />
I used another site during radiation, but most of those recipes turned out pretty bland. I had to buy a whole lot of spices for these recipes, so it should be interesting dinner at my house for the next two months. I still have about 6 or so recipes to assemble, right after I buy some more garlic and find some more time!<br />
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Thankful for one more round of Mealtrain.com, too. While I am trying to be prepared, let's get real, it's much nicer when someone else cooks!<br />
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Thankful to be winding down this year. While I have chosen to be thankful through the crumminess, it has not been the year I wanted. The boys both noticed that while there were gifts from Mom and Dad and Santa too, there wasn't as much as in years past, for more reasons than just money. We have tried to give them experiences along the way this year, but those are sometimes forgotten in the wrapping paper frenzy. Tamoxifen mood swings didn't help any of us in the last week, either. A year ago, we had thoughts and dreams to be in a new house by now. Maybe, hopefully, prayerfully, next summer. Anyone want to buy a great little 3 bedroom house with a huge garage? I didn't have a thought in the world of changing jobs a year ago, but am starting grad school in a few weeks (Masters in Healthcare Informatics through SIUE and BJC) with the vague plan to work my way out of patient care at some point. I have no idea what my arm will look or feel like after surgery next week, but I am sure that I need to plan for the future and not be schlepping patients to CT scan (or coding them on Christmas) when I am 65.<br />
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Thankful that God forgives when I am angry, and selfish, and frustrated, and angry, and want my life all fixed and better NOW. Did I mention the mood swings? Yeah, I am not winning "Mom of the Year" this year. And it's all about me. And why do my kids have to learn the hard lessons so young? Yeah, angry amidst the blessings. But this week we've had some good talks about chore money, hard work, spending wisely all year long and saving for stuff you really want, as we have tried to put a positive spin on Christmas. Dang it, Clark Howard, and Dave Ramsey, and Suze Orman, it was much easier when Santa just mindlessly swiped plastic! So a learning opportunity for the big kid, a blessing amidst the crumminess.<br />
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Thankful for one more year surrounded by a great community, two churches, friends, coworkers, family, all holding my little family together, every single day.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe I should clarify some of this. Sometimes, I just need to vent. I am not looking for anything from anyone to fix my kid's world. He asked for a 3ds xl and a specific game for Christmas. We gave him a DS several years ago, and the boys managed to lose most of the little tiny game cartridges after a while. I think he traded it in maybe last year for who knows what at Gamestop. When he asked for the new version (and basically that's all he asked for) this year, I could not bring myself to spend $250 on that. So the aunts and uncles and Santa and the parents all teamed up for giftcards for him. He is still a little short. Last year, Santa would have just swiped plastic and been done. The more we do that, the less we have for a nest egg to build. What I didn't realize is how much he has picked up on the balance between bills, no paycheck for no work, and trying to be frugal and realistic for the next two months. He has been upset the last couple days about asking us to help him pay for the only thing he really wanted, and worried that if we helped him, that was taking money away from the weekly bills. He will be fine with life's decisions, and was talking on his own about waiting for his birthday in the spring to get it. There is money tucked away for life, and it's not the end of the world if we don't get to build this summer either while we try and rebuild my body and income and our dreams. It's just been a hard couple days of parenting, and disappointment for him caused by me and my own stubbornness, and sometimes Christmas isn't Hallmark. Stupid cancer. I want to give him the world carefree, not lessons in budgeting, planning and saving. But when he spends his chore money on silly xbox stuff throughout the year, I don't have as much sympathy. Sometimes I don't know the right parenting answers, and sometimes there just isn't a right answer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span>Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-6527058293316633112013-12-20T21:32:00.001-06:002013-12-20T21:32:42.683-06:00Fantastic FridayMy facebook post for Monday was about 3 days of work, 7 medical appointments and a full moon Monday morning. Now, we are past 3 pm Friday, and maybe on the downhill slide into the calm before the storm.<br />
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It was a good 3 days of work. I was even willing to pick up another 4 hours this weekend. Maybe I am feeling guilty for not working at all over the holidays.<br />
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Seven appointments, yikes! Nine, if I include Tom's stuff. Pre-surgery check-in, PT/ Lymphedema, eye exam, labs, rad onc, med onc and plastic surgeon all this week. We had a date night after we both had Tuesday afternoon doctor appointments. Life is a tragic comedy sometimes, and I'll take a quiet dinner out any way I can get it! From the cancer folks, all is mostly well. Vitamin D takes a hit with treatment, and mine is low. Supplement even more than I am. Easy enough. I need B complex vitamins, too. Thyroid is ok, we decided. There was some question of it being a casualty of radiation, but tsh and t4 levels are back where they belong. We will do a bone density scan next time. <br />
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Plastics was easy - ready for surgery at the end of the month. Tissue expanders (the temporary forms that we used to stretch and regrow skin) will come out, and saline implants will go in. It's another 6 weeks of downtime. My post-op instructions will amount to moving as little as possible, and arms less than 45 degrees from chest. I'm getting geared up for it. There is a mental list of crock pot recipes I want to get made and frozen before Christmas. Five or so boxes of cereal, 4 boxes of pancake mix, tp and paper towels have been collected in the basement, and a list of stuff still to get on the fridge.<br />
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Lymphedema... it's still not much fun. I am usually wrapped fingertips to armpit with 60 or so feet of bandages. If I am a really compliant patient, I have a huge foam form and then all the bandaging. And I should be doing stretching twice a day and massage once a day. I usually have to rewrap my arm at least once in the middle of the day. And if you have seen it in person, you can tell it's pretty motion-restrictive. It's hard to touch fingertips to thumb to grasp anything for very long. It's hard to bend my elbow. Can't exactly wash dishes or prepare food, either. An average day it seems is about 3 hours worth of arm care. Who has time for that!? Tom has become quite the arm wrapper, and I am oh so glad. I do ok in the mornings, but at night, I am way past tired and grumpy. I still fight fatigue easily.<br />
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It was 70 degrees outside today. That meant a walk in between the 4 med appts. I forgot how much I need to exercise. I was in a foul mood after the onc made a stupid comment. A walk and some music will soothe many things in my life and my head. And now, it's about 40 degrees and storming. Crazy weather!<br />
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<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-65476078233566044452013-12-05T21:54:00.001-06:002013-12-05T21:54:21.269-06:00Thankul ThursdayHey, I'm still here. I kept up with the daily thankfuls fairly well on facebook, but blogging takes a bit more time, so got neglected.<br />
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How bout I start fresh?<br />
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Thankful for two boys watching The Sound of Music with me. I thought they would hate it, but Evan was mad when he realized it's on til 10, past his bedtime.<br />
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Thankful for a Santa and an elf, for a Christmas stocking holder. A friend makes wooden crafts, and I finally got her to make me a stocking holder that stands on its own, and I can't wait to see it. I've only bugged her for two years! It's impossible to hang stuff on our plaster-concrete walls. And somehow, it's already paid for. Thank you, Santa.<br />
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Thankful for the beauty of the first snowfall. School isn't cancelled yet, but I am betting it will be. It's beautiful outside, peeking from the warmth of the front door with the neighbor's Christmas lights twinkling.<br />
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Thankful for a week with my mom, even though she left a bit early with the ugly weather forecast. She joined Tom's family for Thanksgiving, we all traveled to my dad and stepmom's for a couple days, and stayed for 3 6th grade basketball games and a long morning of doctor's appointments today at the Barn. I miss her dishwashing already. It is kinda weird though, to tell her how to fold laundry and which dishes were not machine-wash. Pretty sure I should just be thankful she's doing my laundry and dishes!<br />
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Thankful for a new garage door opener. We put off that purchase for several years, but caved in for a Christmas present for me. The arm is gimpy, and it's hard to stretch to pull the door closed.<br />
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God blesses us, every single day, and we are so lucky.Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-72696474556057430342013-11-23T21:04:00.000-06:002013-11-23T21:04:31.394-06:00Thankful #16 - Aunt VirginiaThankful # 16...<br />
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I am not smarter than my scanner, and it scanned the pic as a 8x11, so forgive that. This is Aunt Virginia and Uncle Lloyd circa 2002. They are at the park area of the Nauvoo Mormon Temple sealing. Us non-Mormons got a tour before it was dedicated as sacred and closed to the non-believers. Evan was about 2 months old, and he toured it in the Baby Bjorn carrier. My cousin Keith's daughter was about 6, and she was madly in love with tiny baby Evan. It was pretty cute, as I recall. She was thrilled to feed him a bottle and hold him. It was probably one of my first trips with Evan and without Tom. He worked every.stinkin.Saturday for years!<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-77394684742020919202013-11-23T20:56:00.002-06:002013-11-23T20:56:51.469-06:00Thankful # 15 - the Great River RoadThankful # 15 - the Great River Road<br />
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The part that holds value to me is between Hamilton and Nauvoo, IL. It is family, Thanksgiving, Christmas, family reunions, cousins, the bakery and fudge on my mom's side of the family. It is Tastee Freese, the Palmyra pool, the railroad tracks (now gone) behind Grandma & Grandpa's house, sleepovers with Kristy, Susie and Jenny, and the Cabbage Patch Kid that lives on a shelf in my boys' room on my dad's side of the family.<br />
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Today, it was Aunt Virginia's visitation and funeral. Sad, but a blessing as well.<br />
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Becky, my sister, and Dave, my brother, gathered at the church. It's not easy getting the 3 of us together anymore, with our 3 spouses, 8 kids, and 5 jobs across 500 miles. It was so good to hang together for a bit. It was a wonderful time to spend with my 4 cousins and their 3 kids. But they were not real interested in pics at their mom's funeral. Totally understandable. They did take a family pic for the annual Christmas card.<br />
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Uncle Lloyd's memorial bench outside the Methodist church in Nauvoo. Virginia had Alzheimers, and had been in a nursing home for several years. While she was there, Lloyd developed liver cancer and passed away.<br />
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. While we were in that neck of the woods, we stopped to see my dad's family an hour south of Nauvoo. I found Grandma and Grandpa.<br />
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And a kiss left for Howard and Georgia. Howard and Grandma were siblings. If I remember correctly, I ended up with a recliner with wooden spindles on the side that was Georgia's. It would have been my living room recliner when Evan was a baby. I think my church has (or maybe it's had by now) it.<br />
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Marilyn is Howard and Georgia's only daughter. All three stones are together, so an easy find for those of us who only make cemetery pilgrimages every 5-10 years.<br />
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And the cousins, Susan and Kristy. We are cousins twice removed, I think, but nobody ever told us that. Their mom and my dad are first cousins. Jenny was killed in a car crash in May of 1999. My daughter was going to be named Elizabeth, a middle name she and I both share. Tom laughed but agreed to it when we were just dating.<br />
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I also got to see Jeanne Beth, a first cousin, bud didn't snap any pics of the two of us. That only leaves Ken in Kentucky as the only first cousin we didn't see that weekend.<br />
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I love God's beauty in nature, and while the trees were brown and the sky was gray, it is still some of the prettiest road I have driven. And the family it represents is priceless.<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-50531035000984792962013-11-23T20:20:00.002-06:002013-11-23T20:20:54.204-06:00Thankful # 13 - Produce Co-op<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Thankful #13 - the produce co-op. I am a co-op newbie no more. And I have eaten some of everything pictured except the mushrooms and cranberries. The bananas and apples were gone in no time flat. The pineapple and oranges went into smoothies. The sweet potatoes, asparagus, brussel sprouts and some carrots got baked with salt, pepper and olive oil. The cranberries will get cooked next week. I am working on expanding my food horizons, slowly but surely.<br />
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Next order is in early December, then not again til January, but looking forward to those.<br />
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Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-83399891412991451572013-11-23T20:14:00.000-06:002013-11-23T20:14:14.614-06:00Thankful # 12 - HeatThankful # 12 - heat from any source. It turned cold - in the teens, and I am glad to sleep with a furnace on the other side of the bed, and a heated mattress pad so the bed isn't so cold, and the hot water heater that never runs out, and the furnace, and the car seat warmers, and the hot chocolate while watching Flag Football in the cold, and and and...<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-77001864301782722892013-11-23T20:09:00.002-06:002013-11-23T20:09:53.163-06:00Thankful #11 - Yard Crew<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Thankful for a yard crew. A neighbor was headed to run errands & drove by while I was working on the yard while it was still warm. She gave her son a choice of errands or helping me, and he opted to help me. I was most appreciative. He mowed/ mulched the whole yard, and only let me buy him a soda. I knew I would be in deep trouble with Colby if his leaves were gone when my boys came home from the afternoon out, so I raked what was in the driveway into the side yard, and made a smaller pile to play in. While I was cleaning up around the swingset and the last of the raking, these 5 kiddos came walking down the street. and asked if they could help me. Well, of course you can, and then you can all play in the leaf pile!<br />
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I am thankful for good neighborhood kids who are willing to help. <br />
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Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-20884089701816034572013-11-23T20:00:00.003-06:002013-11-23T20:00:40.027-06:00Thankful #10 - Down Time & VisitingThankful # 10... Down Time & Visiting<br />
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Don't ask me what possessed me, but I spent several hours deleting stuff from the computer. It was kinda fun to go through and remember ancient email threads, and delete them so I could find whatever it was I was looking for. Sometimes it's the simple things that make me happy.<br />
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Scout popcorn was in, so Colby and I had to deliver to the neighborhood. It drove him crazy, but I thoroughly enjoyed a little gab time while delivering stuff. And thank you for supporting the local kids.Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-11048416265224142602013-11-23T19:56:00.004-06:002013-11-23T19:56:47.134-06:00Thankful Day #9 - AlabamaThankful #9 was a splurge on tickets to Alabama at the Fabulous Fox, and a night in the city away from the kids. Ooh, lovely!<br />
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So it's not quite the lights of Broadway, it's still pretty cool!<br />
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Yep, Row E behind the Orchestra pit. On the floor. The VIP package got us dinner at Powell Hall. The steak place across the street serves better food, I must say. It also got us t-shirts, water tumblers, posters, and cloth grocery bags.<br />
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Did I mention 5th row? Loved them then, love them now.<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-60046484049467837462013-11-08T22:12:00.002-06:002013-11-08T22:30:11.483-06:00Thankful Day 8Thankful Day 8...<br />
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Tom said I should be thankful for the 3 debonair men I live with.<br />
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I said I am thankful to be caught up with all these Thankfuls. I know why I don't blog daily, trying to catch up with and write a bit more about what I have posted on Facebook.<br />
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Maybe it's that there was a lot of help sorting Scout popcorn tonight, and many hands made light work. Which also means that we will be delivering popcorn this week, if you ordered any.<br />
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Maybe it's that 3 of us have a boatload of new socks and undies today. It's a sadly exciting day when you get to pick your own new socks out at the store, and get to trash all the old ones. Cause I don't match old and new socks, and both boys were down to about 4 pairs each anyway. Hey, it IS the little things in life! And since I took care of that chore today, Santa won't bring them socks for Christmas, as that isn't a fun gift at all.<br />
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Colby is thankful for toys and food. I am thankful he made one of his first Lego projects from start to finish while I have been blogging tonight; they make Tom and I crazy! I would love to type a great story about how giving and thoughtful he is with this project of 30 Thankfuls of mine, but he's not. Life is about toys and food, and I am okay with that from him.<br />
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<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-84796826244859339382013-11-08T22:12:00.000-06:002013-11-08T23:09:04.115-06:00Thankful Day 7Thankful Day 7... for my mom, and her birthday this week.<br />
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She got to spend it with my brother, sister-in-law, nieces and nephew in Texas, so it was a big treat for her. My nephew sang to her at Cracker Barrel, where he works. Life is good for Grandma! My niece is marching in the band for their Friday Night Lights football game, and football is a religion in Texas.<br />
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I love you, Mom.<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-50107159563865217742013-11-08T22:02:00.000-06:002013-11-08T22:02:03.290-06:00Thankful Day 6Day 6... thankful for conversations in the dark.<br />
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The kids have always talked more in the dark. In the car one night this week, or in their room at bedtime when we would sit as they drifted off to sleep, darkness always seems to make their day spill out of their mouths. Neither kid is really chatty about who did what at school, so getting them to tell me about their day, their thoughts, their friends, is a treat.<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-3564581041822710272013-11-08T21:54:00.003-06:002013-11-08T21:54:31.526-06:00Thankful Day 5Day 5... thankful for healthcare, as an employee, recipient, and family member.<br />
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It is good to be back at work earning a paycheck. It is good to have days that I get to do something really cool and remember why I like my job. I'd tell you more, but there's this pesky HIPPA thing.<br />
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Recipient - you know plenty about if you are reading this!<br />
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<br />Family member - got to spend some time on that side of the hospital bed this week, too.<br />
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None of us quite know how Obamacare is going to play out in the long run. Good? Bad? I don't know. Glad for what we have had is the best I can offer.<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-78546161604841614612013-11-08T21:49:00.001-06:002013-11-08T21:49:27.106-06:00Thankful Day 4The eye candy that is God's creation in the spring & fall. Nobody likes Daylight Savings time changes, but I had a beautiful sunrise and sunset both in my rearview mirror traveling to work and home.<br />
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These are from the Family Camp at Camp Joy in Carlyle a few weeks ago. Bet it's even prettier now.<br />
<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-55029517623272601242013-11-08T21:39:00.000-06:002013-11-08T21:39:00.084-06:00Thankful Day 3A month of thankfuls, day 3.<br />
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We skipped church & got up early for this:<br />
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Colby is toward the left, in a red vest. Evan is next to him with the dark green sash. Tom has a red neckerchief. <br />
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I don't know anyone in the left pic. Right pic, Tom is near the blue stripe on the Rams head. Colby is in the red vest next to him, and Evan next to Colby. And yes, the flag is 40 yards long. 225 kids and adults to carry it.<br />
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Scout Day at the Rams dome. They played the Tennessee Titans, but lost 28-21. The Scouts had a good time getting on the field and presenting the flag, though. I have to comment about sportsmanship, though. The boys stood on the edge of the field waiting for the flag presentation for over 30 minutes while the players were warming up. All of the Titans came by and gave the kids High 5's while they were waiting. The only Rams player that acknowledged the boys was the mascot. And when the Titans took the field, we boo-ed. That is not what I want my kids to learn from pro sports. You don't have to like the opposing team, but don't be openly rude to them. But maybe I am just too sensitive.<br />
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I am thankful for all that the flag represents, for the lessons the boys are learning in Scouts, and for the opportunities the Rams have given them this year.<br />
<span id="goog_998619217"></span><span id="goog_998619218"></span><br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-28582644483128721472013-11-02T09:11:00.001-05:002013-11-02T09:11:27.431-05:00A month of Thankfuls Day 2Thankful for my gynecologist. <br />
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Really, a post all about <u><i>that</i></u>?<br />
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Really, yes.<br />
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Dr. d (yes, a lowercase d) came recommended by the highest form - the lunch table chatter on midnight shift - about 15 years ago. Back before I needed birth control. She has walked me through the boyfriend, husband, abnormal panic-inducing pap smear 2 months into married life and the week of Thanksgiving, Kid 1, infertility, lousy infertility drugs and a rogue ovary, Kid 2 in God's time, uterine ablation (best thing EVER!) and back to just the yearly exams. And for the first time in a year, I got to keep my shirt on! Hey, there's nothing normal there to feel anymore; why bother?<br />
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More than the history, or maybe because of it, she took the time I needed today. When was the last time you spent over an hour with a doc? Face time, eye contact, not computer contact, a hug and kleenex. She asked the hard personal stuff, and wasn't interested in hearing "fine, we're ok." Not just how am I, but how is Tom, and how are Tom and I together. And those boys she yanked outta me - how are they, too? What body parts still work? What can she help us with? Not just intimately, but emotionally, cause this certainly stresses a good marriage, and crushes a shaky one.<br />
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When I voiced frustration about my arm and the treatment of it so far, she offered to ask around and get back to me. And at this point, I am willing to drive to the city daily (again, ugh!) to deal with it. When she asked about hot flashes and I said no, I'm cold, she didn't want to wait until I saw rad onc in December to check thyroid function. She's seen enough to understand my frustrations thus far, and she gets it without having been through it directly.<br />
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Thank you for letting me seriously delay your morning, Dr. d, and for calling my bovine scatology. I needed that! I asked for a larger chunk of time when I made the appt, but didn't know we'd be there that long!<br />
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Now, if only the Primary Care folks were that good...<br />
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<br />Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-3038056155327391332013-11-01T17:02:00.002-05:002013-11-01T17:20:14.410-05:00Pinktober Politics - A month of Thankfuls for this season of Thanksgiving Day 1Whew, so glad that Pinktober is over. I have tried to stay away from retail for several reasons in October, pink Swiffers and vibrators being two of them.<br />
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Marie Claire has an article <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/news/breast-cancer-business-scams" target="_blank">here</a> from 2011 that speaks to my feelings. You know I am cynical by now. Buy pink if you like pink, but please don't do it thinking you are helping us, cause odds are that you are not, despite your best intentions. Please donate money for research to a charity you have researched and trust. <br />
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20% - 30% of us Stage 2's will have a recurrence within 10 years. 10 years from now, I am still not 50. My baby will be a senior in high school. Please skip Awareness, and move on to Research. The number of women and men dying from breast cancer hasn't improved much in the last 20 years.<br />
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Ann from "But Doctor I Hate Pink" has two great posts (ok, I could get lost for hours - and have - in her blog) about <a href="http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/2013/10/turn-tables.html" target="_blank">men and their nuts</a> and the absurdity of Breast Cancer Awareness, and <a href="http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/2013/10/pinktober-from-metastatic-point-of-view.html" target="_blank">life from a metastatic point of view</a>. Really, I am aware of breast cancer, and was long before I was diagnosed. And I gotta admit, I am still highly paranoid about mets. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't. Chemo didn't kill me. Mastectomies didn't kill me. Radiation didn't kill me. Mets, now that could kill me.<br />
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Spend your money wisely, Folks. Do you want to know where I have found help? The American Cancer Society gave me a wig (hated it, but it was free) and a million or so hats, and some nice make-up. I haven't seen a thing from Komen. I love the idea of their walks and the sisterhood, but I can't pinpoint a single thing in the last 11 months to point directly back to them.<br />
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Soapbox now put away.Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1490909213643430870.post-87703737885890044152013-10-23T22:31:00.001-05:002013-10-23T22:31:56.519-05:00Wordless Wednesday Meets Thankful Thursday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One of Evan's buddies stopped by this afternoon and dropped this shirt off for him. Thank you, Janice and Ebby. <br />
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And for Yoplait's lids in my honor, thank you, Antonette.<br />
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I am way beyond the crisis point in my treatment that I expect or need things from others, and am humbled that folks keep giving and thinking of us. <br />
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Monday evening's sunset while watching Colby's flag football game.<br />
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The view on my walk today. It's a bike trail in Glen Carbon. I had an appointment in StL early today, and one near GC in the afternoon. I put a request on facebook looking for something to do in between, and a couple friends suggested this. It was a great walk, easy and flat, and a bit of eye candy too. The leaves don't seem to be turning colors like in years past - green and attached or brown on the ground - but it was good to keep moving. It reminded me of home and childhood - the Katy Trail in Missouri follows the bluffs of the Missouri River, near Columbia. It was a favorite bike/ walking trail in high school and college at Mizzou. <br />
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The interstate overpass and early afternoon shadows.<br />
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And a stream the path follows for a while, or maybe longer.<br />
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Life is what you choose to make it. Make it a great week, Folks.Marcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03540343130542811692noreply@blogger.com1