So it's T-1 today in the final countdown. 28 days total by tomorrow, and it hasn't been too bad. I think I only cried the first day and a random day in the middle, and I blamed that one on Tamoxifen mood swings and just being way past tired & overwhelmed with life, cancer and lymphedema (LE). I planned my time for mid-morning to get the kids to school, get there and get back, but with 3x/ week LE massage for most of it, I think I only got 1 or 2 afternoons with naps. When I get run down & exhausted, then I cry just because the sky is blue. My chest and underarm are red and rashy and itchy, but the skin stayed together - which was my biggest fear. I would not work with open wounds and woundcare, and they would have a hard time getting me back on the table for more pain. Inside, it feels like a big ol' skinned knee. The rad can bounce of my esophagus and cause a sore throat... some mild discomfort, they said. Feels more like half of a biscuit stuck that won't go up or down in my opinion. Chili, ice cream, mushy spaghetti and cereal have been the menu for the week. Cold water kinda numbs it, but only a little. I have Magic Mouthwash - the same stuff from mouth sores and thrush during chemo. It worked well for the chemo issues. Doesn't do diddly for my throat, since there is really no "hang time" to coat & numb it when you swallow it, and it's really really nasty to swallow. I have had a different CD to listen to every day - thank you! Now if I could only get them to turn it up loud enough to drown out the machine. I'm telling ya - there are a few noises that sound every bit like sizzling bacon that freak me out, cause that's my chest they are sizzling! Not really - I know it's the machine, but there are mind games involved in this thing called cancer.
It's a lunch date with my favorite big kid tomorrow for the bell-ringing. The favorite little kid had a sick day last week, so he got to see some cool highway trucks, all the bridge construction, the therapy dog at rad, McD's playplace, and read books at Barnes & Noble, so an all around great day for him to join me. The big kid won't get treated quite so well since I have a lymphedema appointment in the afternoon, but we will make it a date anyway. Wishing there was more vacation time for Handsome to join me, but he will need it for later, as reconstruction is on track for early January.