Thankful that the funk from last week didn't stick around long. There are just random days where the mood is crummy, and the acidity of my mood doesn't match anything going on in real life. Cancer comes with depression, sometimes situational, sometimes much longer lasting. Last Thursday was a long rad onc day, and "stupid cancer" tears were just simmering at the surface, and blinked back (or not) more than once. Friday, and the rest of this week, has been the "usual me."
Thankful for our "Walking By Faith" Relay for Life team. That walk was Friday night. In the steady rain. On the night before my first shift back. My mom walked with me, both of us in our purple survivor shirts. I walked 1 1/2 miles that I counted, which is more than I have walked in a long time. I knew I needed to be dry at home getting ready for bed & work, but I left my heart on the track. A lap for Rick, and one for Sybil too.
Thankful that while "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was" still applies at work. It was a good weekend. Not too much exciting, but the patients live longer that way! My badge and log-ins all worked, I had time to catch up on computer work that I can't access at work, and my co-workers got to love on me a bit. They have raised me in the work world, after all.
Thankful to get out an overnight bag. Last time I packed, it was the mastectomies. This time, it's the CoMO girls, and I can't wait! We made it several years to Cards-Royals games, but haven't all been together in at least 4 years. Lunch with the step-sisters and cousin time for the boys, Rock Bridge State Park and Devil's Ice Box, maybe some Shakespeare's Pizza, and girl-time. That is a full 36 hours!
Thankful for God's perfect timing. Radiation starts Monday. School starts Tuesday. Perfectly planned, and I had nothing to do with it. Chemo ended on the last Friday of school in May. I got my summer staycation with the kids. A huge part of our goals was that while the kids know all that is going on, they still get to be kids, and life seems kinda sorta halfway normal. If I had to take them with me to the doc, I tried to end at the zoo, or a splash pad, or something else fun for them.
Thankful for the PTA volunteers. School shopping for us? A bag of candy for treats, a few new shirts, haircuts, and we are done! We can order a box full of supplies tailored to each kids grade in the spring. I like to coupon, but have no energy or desire to chase down $0.17 notebooks and $0.24 crayons. And, I think we have a cool PTA that takes care of the kids and the teachers too. No, I am not volunteering. But I will gladly donate anything you ask for!
Thankful for a stupid diagnosis to make me experiment with food more. Kale chips, zucchini with tomatoes and cheese, chard, canteloupe, watermelon... The only zucchini I would willingly eat came in the form of bread. Now, I hate the thought of wasting a) food we paid $$ for and b) fresh fruit and veggies, so we are making a point to eat more of the good stuff, which means broadening the horizons for this picky eater. Married 13 years, and I had no idea my husband liked beets. I'm still not eating those, but maybe I will buy a few at the next Farmer's Market I run across.
Stop and count your blessings - eucharisteo is the word I am looking for. Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts book.
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